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Friday, January 27, 2012

and in the most dramatic season yet...

Today, we're going to discuss everyone's favorite, addictive sham of a reality show.


How is it possible that there have been 16 seasons of this insane concept? Um, even more incredulous is the fact that what? a whopping one couple, has actually survived the elements of life, and made it to a marriage, which appears to be grounded and lasting (shout out to you, Trista and Ryan!). [fun fact: I read on Twitter that more couples have gotten together and lasted from the Biggest Loser, than have from the Bachelor/Bachelorette. I guess it's more of a bonding experience to sacrifice carbs together than to be forced to endure staged group dates all in the name of love. I could've told you that.] At this point, I am forced to wonder if these people are:

a) truly sold on the idea that they will be that ONE to defy all odds, and meet their one-and-only in the midst of sharing him/her with a pool of other glamazons/beefy boys,

b) at such a stagnant crossroads in life that quitting one's career is the thing to do at an average of 27 years old, in order to tempt fate and snag that husband,

or

c) finally conceding that this is their last opportunity for 15 minutes of fame, and Idol didn't pan out.


decisions, decisions...


Let me clarify that, I have NOT watched every season, by any means. Bachelor/Bachelorette viewings were a staple girl's night in college, and the habit managed to trickle its way over into my post-grad activities. I honestly haven't watched in a handful of seasons, but my motives have shifted gradually. No longer do I watch to remain abreast of the goings-on of primetime television. No ma'am. My sole intention at this point is to see if I choose who the antagonist chooses. It's a weekly contest with myself, of list-making and note-taking.

Say what you might, this little guilty pleasure appeals greatly to my competitive streak... especially when the candidates are continually sliding down the scale of appeal. Don't get me wrong, Ben seems to be a nice guy, loves wine, whatever... I don't care. None of these things are built to last. Sign on for this team cat fight, drink your weight in alcohol, wear frilly dresses, spend more on spray tans than you ever imagined, make out despite not knowing the guy's middle name, and cross your fingers and hope for a Neil-Lane-created-3-carat-sparkler at the end of a month. How is that not destined for enduring success?

It's called entertainment for a reason people. Moving on...

Without further adieu, here are my picks for this season. All very adorable, girl-next-door types who seem down-to-earth... which means odds are severely against all of them to end up getting the guy, but whatever.

In order of adoration:



kacie b.

sugary sweet, down home Tennessee (near Nashville!) girl. quirky and adorable. love her twang. BONUS! we can be BFF when I move there.


nicki

sassy, petite Texas girl. dental hygienist. I wasn't crazy about her initially, but I really like her after watching more.


jennifer

well, hey there, red! accountant. lives up to her redhead nature and is spunky and bright. this shot doesn't do her ample justice, I think she's super elegant, but in an approachable way.


lindzi

sweetheart from florida. she rode in on a horse (literally) which would have deducted points for me, normally (I can't stand horses... sorry), but she seems very grounded, and she has a great look.

[all photos from google.]

And this Courtney girl might have the look (she IS a model, after all... just ask her). But she's got the most toxic and ridiculous personality. I think "dumber than a box of rocks" was coined for this creature. I literally don't think I've ever despised watching another human on television... and I've been exposed to more than my fair share (TWSS).

Anyway... do you have a favorite contender?? Are you as loony as I am, when it comes to creating a system for liking them? I should make a bracket... tournament style.


If you need to catch up, go watch here!


Also, one of my favorite bloggers EVER in the history of everything has a tradition of what amounts to live episode commentary... if you read her recaps without watching, they won't make a ton of sense, but if you scan them whilst watching the videos, you'll have that extra special director's cut-esque glimpse of amazingness. It's truly an unparalleled experience.

first episode recap

second episode recap


third episode recap

fourth episode recap


I know, I know... after every season, and every shock of a proposal-turned-tabloid-splattered-breakup, I hear myself saying, "NEVER AGAIN will I watch this crap." And yet here we are... the saga continues.


Have a fabulous weekend, lovers!!

2 comments:

  1. I know who wins.

    Reality Steve. Check it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ughhhhh, I CAN'T. I have to have some level of suspense. I know he's always right, and I have a sneaking suspicion of who it is and I just can't ruin my jollies with proving that Ben's a huge D-Bag if he, in fact, selects aforementioned trainwreck.

    ReplyDelete

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