So I made it to Nashville. I'm here.
But the past week hasn't gone anything like I had been dreamily anticipating over the past few weeks. I've been a total wreck, to be honest with you. The night before we were supposed to leave Texas to head to Tennessee, my sweet Milo was hit by a car. Literally, one second, he's excitedly wiggling and welcoming me home, and not five minutes later, I was screaming and cradling his lifeless body in my arms. I am beyond devastated, still... my heart is broken and I miss him so much. So much, it's unimaginable that I only had him in my life for a mere seven months. I'm so grateful for the love and affection from my Maizie, and I'm so excited for my new life, in my new city... but a little piece of my heart is completely missing. The experience and my life here are so different, in his absence. I see him in everything--the billowy, rolling clouds, especially. I'm still finding his little fuzzy hair on things as I unpack... I know the grief process is different for everyone--and I'll tell you right now, I'm horrible at it. It's been a week without him and it feels like months.
I am comforted by the thought of him waiting on me in Heaven... just like he waited for me to return to him everyday from work. The image of him perched up on his hind legs, leaning on Heaven's gate, his fuzzy fur blowing in the air, is one that continues to flood my head. I know there are varying perspectives on whether animals make it to Heaven, but I am of the firm belief that they do. And I believe he'll be there, waiting on me too.
I love you, sweet Milo. The amount of pure joy and sweetness you poured into my life in just a matter of months is insurmountable. Thank you for being my feisty, fluffy ball of love... you were all puppy, and all love. Thank you for showing me the purest form of love, devotion and affection. I can't say enough about how much greater my life has been over the past year because of your place in it... you are truly the best of the best, and the spot on my pillow where you snoozed feels as expansive as a football field with you gone. You are so, so unbelievably missed.
I miss you every single day, sweet boy.
(photo montage to come... I just don't have the time or emotional capacity to sift through them all right now.)