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Tuesday, June 5, 2012

I'm here...

So I made it to Nashville. I'm here.



But the past week hasn't gone anything like I had been dreamily anticipating over the past few weeks. I've been a total wreck, to be honest with you. The night before we were supposed to leave Texas to head to Tennessee, my sweet Milo was hit by a car. Literally, one second, he's excitedly wiggling and welcoming me home, and not five minutes later, I was screaming and cradling his lifeless body in my arms. I am beyond devastated, still... my heart is broken and I miss him so much. So much, it's unimaginable that I only had him in my life for a mere seven months. I'm so grateful for the love and affection from my Maizie, and I'm so excited for my new life, in my new city... but a little piece of my heart is completely missing. The experience and my life here are so different, in his absence. I see him in everything--the billowy, rolling clouds, especially. I'm still finding his little fuzzy hair on things as I unpack... I know the grief process is different for everyone--and I'll tell you right now, I'm horrible at it. It's been a week without him and it feels like months.



I am comforted by the thought of him waiting on me in Heaven... just like he waited for me to return to him everyday from work. The image of him perched up on his hind legs, leaning on Heaven's gate, his fuzzy fur blowing in the air, is one that continues to flood my head. I know there are varying perspectives on whether animals make it to Heaven, but I am of the firm belief that they do. And I believe he'll be there, waiting on me too.


I love you, sweet Milo. The amount of pure joy and sweetness you poured into my life in just a matter of months is insurmountable. Thank you for being my feisty, fluffy ball of love... you were all puppy, and all love. Thank you for showing me the purest form of love, devotion and affection. I can't say enough about how much greater my life has been over the past year because of your place in it... you are truly the best of the best, and the spot on my pillow where you snoozed feels as expansive as a football field with you gone. You are so, so unbelievably missed.


 



I miss you every single day, sweet boy.


(photo montage to come... I just don't have the time or emotional capacity to sift through them all right now.)

8 comments:

  1. I am so, so sorry Megan. The loss of a pet is so hard..

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  2. I too believe that animals go to heaven. They simply have to. :)

    I remember hearing about sweet Milo on twitter, and for the life of me, I could not find the words to tell you how sorry I felt for the loss of your loved one. To some, animals are just that - animals. But to others they truly are an extension of yourself, a lifeline, and I find my husky, Aspen, to be treated like a first child.

    I'll be thinking of you and Maizie as y'all experience your new adventures in Nashville. :)

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  3. I am so so sorry Megan, losing a pet is one of the hardest things to go through. They're like a member of the family, and you really do see them in everything after they're gone. I can only imagine how much you feel his absence in your move. Thinking of you!

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  4. I am so sorry for your loss- I literally teared up when I read this. I know what it feels like to lose a pet and it is one of the worst feelings in the world :( My heart still hurts when I think about my Belle in Heaven. It will get better day by day, I swear...
    -Katie
    Athomewhenimwithyou.blogspot.com

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  5. Oh, Megan, I am so sorry for your loss. My heart is broken - praying for & thinking of you & your Maizie girl.

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  6. After Elle died I got a photo of us put on a canvas (I think from canvas on demand?), and it's hanging in my living room. It's one of the last pics I had of her and I love it. I've also been planning on doing some sort of photo book with tons of pics, but I haven't figured out yet how I want to go about doing that. So sorry for your loss, that sweet boy was so loved.

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    1. I'm doing that exact thing--making a blurb book full of his glamour shots. I love the canvas idea--I'm going to have to do that too. I'm hoping to be able to reach his breeder (I didn't get him directly from her), and maybe get another little boy later this year... we'll see. Thank you so much for your sweet comment... I absolutely know you know what I've been through.

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