Friday, March 15, 2013

THS: Twitter High School

Social media has changed life so dramatically, it's mind-blowing. Lately, I've tried to reminisce about what interaction used to be like, pre-texting, pre-Facebook, pre-Twitter and pre-blogging. For the most part, I have no complaints. I worry a little about our society being way too dependent upon technology--it's a fine line between the luxury of connecting with community of like-minded women, and the dangers of anything as seemingly inconsequential as an overshare (relatedly, can we lose the word "blowout" as it pertains to anything but hair?), to identity theft, to the sexualization and bullying kids suffer at the hands of classmates and predators, and even worse. But here in my naive little bubble of blogging and tweeting, I have absorbed a sense of community that is fairly indicative of my high school years. Allow me to explain...

In the blogging world, there are sub-communities. As you well know, blogs span every single interest imaginable... fly-fishing in Eastern Europe to the effects of gourmet dog food on toy breeds, to paint colors in natural light to the history of the jump shot. And everywhere in between.  I tend to only navigate those pertaining to lifestyle and decorating, mostly. I'm a little intimidated by the millions out there (and a little irritated that it doesn't take much of a writing style or talent to churn out a "blog," but that is neither here nor there). Anyway... suffice to say, there are millions--millions--of bloggers out there, all earnestly pecking away at their keyboards at the matters nearest and dearest to their respective hearts. It would be a lackluster world, if we all spouted off about one topic... and as such, I have broken down what I've come to know as Twitter High School.

Similarly, news spreads like wildfire in a Twitter clique. The environment seems fairly shielded, but girls can talk just as efficiently through a phone or keyboard as they do face-to-face. Gossip mongers live everywhere, and they discuss it all--even if they've never met you face-to-face. This isn't intended to be a blasting of anyone in particular--I've just found that people talk about whatever they want to talk about--just like in "real life." So... all that to say, be cautious about what you're blasting on the ol' Internet. Because while the sharing of life's events definitely fosters community, I repeat to you, there's a fine line.


Traipsing the halls of Twitter High School are your representative cliques...

The jocks are your fitness bloggers... you know the ones. Their pages are neatly bordered with the total mileage they've ran this year, and every other post is featuring a coupon code for discounted workout gear. You might find your favorite green smoothie recipe here, and you'll definitely hear a lot about PRs, compression leggings and why Asics are the preferred trainer to everything else.

The church girls tend to be your mommy bloggers. While they aren't exclusively synonymous with religion, I think you'll agree that the bulk of them tend to tie their post content back into a recent Sunday school lesson, or a scripture reading from their morning quiet time, or a Beth Moore quote. Their posts revolve around their families, developmental milestones of their toddlers and tend to not stray from their content focus--much like the church girls don't stray from their Sunday School schedule.

The loners are usually pretty entertaining--in blogland, the ones who tend to subsist on self-deprecating humor. Much of their writing content revolves around the mishaps of their every days... how much they hate their jobs, the latest text fight with one or more parents, and the best of the best: the dating game--playback of how miserable the latest date was, who may or may not have been initially met via online dating service.

The home ec girls are your cooking bloggers. They've mastered it all, and pinterest is a close ally. Their taco-tortellini-peanut-kale casserole has been repinned 20,000 times, and they are your go-to girls for easy, cheesy party food dishes. Their photo posts that immediately follow major holidays make you salivate--even as you gnaw leftover turkey tucked between two slices of white bread. 

The artists are your photography, fashion and design bloggers. Their layout is most certainly a stark, crisp white background with the simplest of black, sans serif typefaces boasting a clever, usually alliterative title. The only color is an overwhelmingly large series of photos streaming down the center of the page, most likely featuring a mixed print pencil skirt-sweater combo, sunlight hitting a beer can in an angle that actually makes the aluminum look beautiful, or a wire hanger being repurposed into something genuinely useful. They tend to have a lot of time on their hands.

The party girls need minimal introduction or explanation. Roughly 87% of posts include mentions of one or more of the following: wine Wednesday, vino, 2-for-Tuesdays, monogrammed koozies, college party photos that are ten years old, instagrammed photos of chardonnay in stemless glasses, hangover cures, hangover foods, hangover anything.

The class clowns are the funny ones. The girls who blog about a little of everything, but are prone to gravitate toward using relevant GIFs for life situations.They also employ the use of reality TV related memes, the sarcasm of someecards, and the occasional youtube to get their point across. Many of these types share strong traits with the loners demographic.

The girls next door are my favorites, and I think the pit I'd fall linto. They're a solid mix of all the aforementioned qualities. Their interests span dozens of categories, they're likely talented and/or interested in many different areas (well if that doesn't sound pompous...), but they aren't afraid to keep it real. You'll find an even split of fashion posts to foodie posts... an occasional party recap, followed by a virtual heart-to-heart about relationships or a quarter-life crisis. Another irritating thing about Twitterville is that there's a few who have this nagging itch to appear seamlessly perfect. Perfect relationships, perfect house, perfect wardrobe, perfect social life. NOT REALITY. I have a resounding appreciation and respect for the ones who aren't afraid to put it out there... the good, the bad, the ugly.

So there you have it. Which category do you fall into??


  1. I was like "oh Jesus am I a class clown?! I use GIFs!!!" but fingers crossed I'm girl next door. In a non-E! show about Playboy bunnies type of way.

    1. BAH. oh girl, you are most certainly my neighbs. :)

      yes, in a mostly covered-up, tastefully-dressed-in-pink, moderately-sparkly kinda way.

  2. I like this post!!! I think you've summed up twitter really well. And, I hope I'm girl next door and not a loner or class clown!

  3. I love every single thing about this post!

  4. This is hilarious, and so true. God, I hope I'm a Girl Next Door. Hmmm.....


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