"I'm on a journey. It's my journey, and I'm okay." - Marnie Michaels, GIRLS
OMG, if I can't find any excuse to implement a GIRLS gif/quote/meme for any and all areas of life. First of all, Allison Williams can do no wrong. Huge girl crush.
But back to the topic at hand... I've had this quarter-life crisis conversation a lot over the past few months. There's this pervading sense of failure that late-20-something women who want to eventually be married are immersing themselves in. It doesn't matter how much success she's shrouded in--if she's not married and wants to be, there's a feeling of, "oh my gosh, what have I done wrong?" I've been there--every woman in my family was married (and some, divorced) before the ripe age of 24. At 22, I thought the idea of having babies at 30 sounded positively archaic. And to be brutally honest, it's taken a while to be comfortable in my own relationship, confident that our long-term future awaits, and my socially-driven timeline doesn't have any room to dictate my life.
That being said, I think goals are a pivotal part of life... I thrive most when I'm surrounded by ambitious, goal-oriented people. And, having been engaged before, I am endlessly thankful I've never been married. You're not the same person at 27 than you were at 21... I've changed in so many ways I'd never anticipated or envisioned. What I've wanted has evolved immensely. I love who I am at 27, and I love the confidence of being 27 and having goals for this lifetime outside of having a family. Don't get me wrong--college love can be built for the ages, to be sure... but it's not the path I've taken and I'm perfectly happy with that.
My earnest hope is for girls my age to embrace the years we have now... because the truth of the matter is, in not too many months, our lives will be completely inundated with diaper changes and day care drop-offs, playdates and pediatrician appointments. There really is time. There's time to be a mom and wife.
But right now? It's time to be 27 and alone. And "alone" isn't an ominous thing. There's a strength to being alone. To having the confidence to embrace the solitude. It's been a struggle sometimes, but I made it here, and I love it. I enjoy my ME time more than I can express without embarrassment. I love loving on and spoiling my baby niece and nephews, and all of my friends' adorable kids... ST's little man, too. But I've heard many variations, time and again of, "if we had to do it all over again, we'd wait a little longer." Again, not to blur the lines--I love being in a relationship. I love to love, and I'm good at being part of a twosome. I love the partnership, the adoration of my best friend, the plans we make, the way our belly laughs sound similar, the jokes we come up with even now, five years later, the ease and sweet comfort of familiarity.
But I also love sleeping in... I love girls' nights, followed by the inevitable champagne hangover. I love shopping on my Saturday and not exactly sharing a mutual budget. I love eating mac-n-cheese and banana pudding on lazy days when he's out of town. It might sound menial, and I know the splendor of motherhood and being married will far outweigh a lot of experiences I've had before that era in life... but I definitely think more should be embraced about being an adult woman in the post-collegiate years when you're not rushing to play wife. There's nothing at all wrong with it. It's a good thing. There are so many cliche phrases revolving around "being whole before you can be half of a relationship." But it's so, so true... defining ourselves on our own terms, before Mrs. So-and-So is so crucially important--at least for me.
If you're married/a mama, would you change anything about your timeline? Were you stressed about it before you got to where you are now?
If you're unattached/unmarried, do you struggle with not being a wife and/or mama?
I really want to know any and all thoughts... this is a topic that is endlessly intriguing to me.