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Monday, March 2, 2015

 

http://www.people.com/article/bachelor-women-tell-all-recap-britt-vs-carly-kelsey-amazing-story

women tell all--for the seasons I actually watch, this tends to be pretty yawnworthy, but these previews have gotten me a little excited.

  • So cute to see Chris crash these watch parties. These women are freaking crazy.
  • ...and the drunk mom mouth kiss him.
  • Sweet Lord, these women are losing their minds. They wouldn't have freaked out this much if Clooney walked in. Reel it in.
  • Now I know how my brothers felt when I had my girlfriends over in high school.
  • Ha!! Re: the girl who downed it from the bottle: "she's from Texas!!!" Sounds about right.
  • Oh wow... poor Jordan. No one needs to relive any of her experience... least of all, her.
  • I can't wait to see Ashley S. try to convince America that she's sane.
  • Oh man... Kelsey. You are a B.
  • Uh, I don't think Britt is on the same page as Kelsey.
  • Damn, Carly... this does NOT make you look good. 
  • Poor Britt!! I know she's a crier, but that is so freaking painful to watch.
  • YES, CALL HER OUT.
  • Zip the lip, Trina. No one cares. You got kicked off early on and therefore have minimal clout.
  • Yes, get Britt up there!
  • STOP YELLING, EVERYONE.
  • I think it's pretty freaking obvious that Britt and Chris had a connection (gah, I hate that I just used that word).
  • Amber, again... zip it. She didn't say she wanted to be BFF with everyone. I think there's something to be said for living in a house with a bunch of seemingly sweet girls--of course, you'd think you're all being genuine, right?
  • WAY TO GO, JILLIAN. Good for you for defending Britt!!
  • I literally want to cry. I love Britt. I know I don't know the girl, but I think she's genuine.
  • Damn, I need a drink.
  • (generously poured wine glass procured during perfectly timed commercial break.)
  • Kardashleyian is clearly a little naive and immature, but super pretty.
  • Okay, again... I know I'm a huge Britt fan, but I can see the having fear about heights, but being okay with a hot air balloon. I am 100% on board with that--I am insanely panicky about heights, but would love a hot air balloon rid with ST.
  • Totally nailed it. Carly was insecure from day one and 100% targeted Britt.
  • I'm really glad she's not wearing those ugly ass turquoise tube dangle earrings in her top holes.
  • GAH, I love Chris Harrison getting in there for the nitty gritty! Seriously, has anyone in this world heard as many sob stories as this dude?
  • I will forever love Kardashleyian for this.
  • Damn. I wonder if people like Kelsey see how they affect people, then really pause and take note about the impressions they leave, or just blame everyone else for the havoc they wreak.
  • Never mind. Just found out.
  • I like Harrison's tie.
  • Kaitlin is so foxy.
  • I want to know who the phantom laugher is in the crowd... money is on Kardashleyian.
  • There you go, Chris... "do you see their perspective at all?"
  • And there she goes, making excuses.
  • Her jewelry is hideously tacky.
  • Samantha is freaking gorgeous. Wish we had seen more of her.
  • Oh man, here we go! Yeah, Juelia! Get it going! 
  • Damn... they're grilling her. I love this.
  • Are those LED candles on the stage and real ones behind them? Former event planner spotting the flaws.
  • Okay... end the dramatics. We all know your husband died. You're still kind of using it to make yourself look more deserving and broken.
  • Her dress is terrible. Clearance find at Kohl's.
  • Ashley is certifiably insane, but she looks really pretty. Just don't listen to her talk.
  • OMG, I LOVE KAITLIN. Dying...
  • "...and hopefully not get murdered in my sleep by a crazy woman." Hahahaha.
  • Ha! An onion! Well-played.
  • Aww... sweet Jade.
  • Yay, Kaitlin!
  • There's the nasty bathtub again.
  • How freaking impossible is this to watch for her?
  • Aaaand, we hear Becca's name again. 
  • And his babbling about being hurt and scared. No, man.
  • Oh man, hearing her is breaking my heart.
  • I really hope she's the next Bachelorette.
  • Here he is!
  • ...Britt's already crying.
  • Awkward silent hug in front of hundreds... orrr millions (are there millions watching this? Probably not).
  • Shut it, Carly.
  • Chris looks good. Real good.
  • Awkward to be listening to her pour her heart out, knowing he's already chosen someone to (likely) marry.
  • Kaitlin! Yes! Call him out!
  • His discomfort is clearly palpable. Small price to pay to find your bride, son!
  • I so feel for her. I know it's all a show, but why did she need to be put on the spot like that? Especially when she had every reason to think she was home free...
  • KAITLIN BRISTOWE FOR BACHELORETTE.
  • Annnnd, Jade.
  • Weird reaching out and rubbing of her arm. Maybe don't do that.
  • Poor guy, grilled left and right!
  • Gah, I'm exhausted. Let's get this finale done.
  • Bloopers are always a highlight.
  • Horny little maltese!
  • Wait... wait. Chris Harrison wrote a novel? Shameless plug. But I kinda dig it, CH.
  • Re: preview for next week... regardless of what happens, the line from Dad, "I think Whitney is the sure thing, but Becca is who he wants," is totally fuel for fights if (when) Whitney wins (I so like Becca more, but I think Whitney's got it in the bag).
I am BEAT. Let's get some rest... this season can't end soon enough. I'm ready for Kaitlin's season of the Bachelorette!! What say you?

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